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I've been asked numerous time on my journey: "Russell do you ever feel alone?"
My honest answer for months has been "Nope". I am sooo over connected with the Internet, Skype, Twitter, etc that I never really have had a chance for it to sink in. I have this wonderful team of folks helping me with the Mandala project, an impromptu family with Humanity's Team groups in every country, Then there's Gillian and Mikayla who write me letters and send me pictures, and of course my 'genetic' family that I talk to weekly.
However, "No" was only my answer until I got to Berlin. I was sooo excited to get to Berlin. I had met dozens of Berliners, had tons of invites, and it looked like I would just have a fabulously social time here in this grand city.
Oddly, the opposite has been true.
Surrounded by so many people you become that more conscious of your individuality. This thriving metropolis has proved a fertile field for aloneness to grow in.
There's more to it than this though. Despite having all sorts of friends here in Berlin, they all have their patterns and their work. I can actually think of one or two people that I have met here who actually enjoys her work (Hi Cora!) the rest are over worked and feel confined by their patterns and obligations.
So much so, that despite my availabity, my numerous invitations out to people, nobody can do anything with me! Its been rather incredible and depressing at the same time.
There's two ways to take this.
One... that its a cultural and city thing. Two, no one wants to anything with me! So despite a pretty stable personality and existential state, I've been really pained by being in a city with soooo many cool things to do, many cool friends, and yet doing everything alone.
Sigh.
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