Sunday, October 18, 2009

Serious

I can't really keep up with all that is happening to me. I am learning my situation is really serious. Two professional health practitioners have been treating me for the last week. Despite what the doctor at the hospital said, Catherine, who has had a stroke herself, is pretty sure this happened.

Both practioners have been insisting how precarious and dangerous my situation is and could become. My system is really weak and it could repeat.

I would love nothing more than to rest in Paris with Abby in a week. That is what was coming together. But, this would be avoiding the issue.

I fly back to Canada ASAP for treatment and tests.

Going back to Canada-- I really cannot imagine anything I fear more or dread. I feel like I letting people down and failing in my journey. But, Russell... What is more important... You, or the Journey? Despite my journey, my project, all my friends here in Europe and even my lovers, I must love myself first.

My journey has been all about facing my fears and being true to myself. Maybe this is just another step on the path. It makes me feel terrible anyway.

1 comment:

Gloria said...

I (we) feel with you, darling!
Don't be afraid, you have to remind Everything is Love and it's for your Highest Good and you are not alone, never!
I think you and hug you.
Un bacio

gloria