Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
HT: How’s the project financially supported?
I often am asked how I fund the my journey and the 1Mandala project. The question is challenging to answer. It often comes from a certain way of seeing the world and money: First you get money, then you do what you want. This is fundamentally different from how I see it.
In fact it is the opposite!
My understanding is that first do what you want to do. Then, money connections, things and relationships arrive that help you create your vision and fulfill your intention.
I have no savings or source of income. Ironically, given my lifestyle equipment and project, many people who meet me often think that I am independently wealthy!
I laugh with a big smile at this.
If I can share anything with the people that I meet, it is that money is the last thing that you need. Literally. Do first want you want, then the money comes and the way becomes clear. That's it. No need to strive, suffer and toil for money. That's just a sign your going about it backwards!
Of course, it is easy to simply speak such words. However, I feel I can write them because I've been living their truth. I have had no money or source of income or any job since September. Nothing! For three months I had less than 100 euros. Yet, biking for several months through the European Winter my "needs" were abundantly met through the expensive countries of Belgium, Holland and Germany.
Now in the green and warm May of Berlin, I occasionally stop and marvel that I am still alive and that I did not freeze in a Dutch ditch!
Despite absolutely zero financial security, somehow I have never been happier, healthier, better equipped, more loving and more loved than ever. I've also never eaten better, been able to give more and have never had more fun!
Not to mention the 1Mandala project is flourishing in 8 languages with a team of people working around the world and I am living my dream making art at a studio in the most thriving artistic district of Berlin, if not Germany, if not the world.
All I can do is shake my head!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The thought makes me smile. Relationships make me smile! I've been thinking about Relationsnips lately. Why not write out my thoughts? I share my stuffed animal animations! Why not these ponderings?
In the last two years, I have felt like a submerged swimmer who, after being swept along under the dark water for the longest time, has finally broke the surface. At last I can look about and see the river that has been taking me along.
I look about with understanding. With consciousness. And most of all, with these two things, I can now choose.
Ah... the River: There are sooo many societal, religious and cultural currents that sweep us into relationships. It is natural. We all have our river. But it is also all too often unconscious. These currents-- religious traditions, cultural moores, family patterns, government tax benefits, financial expediency-- they all sweep us into the arms of others. I remember a psych 1000 class where the prof asked the class the single biggest determinate of your next partner. After many failed class answers, he said: "The place where you come from".
The relationships were all hands down great experiences. The major ones all could have lasted for many years more. For many people they do. The currents of culture and society and finance are so strong. Its sooo much easier to go with these currents than break with them.
No longer must I strive and struggle to meet people. I put out my intentions. Then the current current sweeps me there. Now, people quite literally walk into my life. They sit down on the bus seat beside me. They appear like angels at just the right moment. Its a subtle but profound difference.
With this underlying consciousness to my relationships, I embrace all that comes-- not hesitantly as before. I throw myself into with all my heart. So much better. My moments are so much richer and there are no regrets. Pain... bring it on! What am I learning here? Joy... thank you! Let me share it! Its sounds sillily simple, but I tell my lovers how I feel-- I don't hold back the good things and the bad things. I express, live, and love it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Yikes. I've been feeling a little lonely lately.
Coming back last night in the rain, the chill and darkness of the night seemed to cut right to my soul. I've spent some lonely and dark nights in my tent over the Winter. Yet somehow, the feeling wasn't quite as overwhelming. Though this night I came home to a warm apartment and Marion's friendly, whom I am staying with, I was never the less overcome. It was a jagged desperate feeling that I can only describe as loneliness-- a longing stronger than my many lone weeks on the road.
An open air concert had caught my ear on the way back to the apartment. It was a bustling gathering wedged between abandoned concrete buildings scrawled over with graffiti. The courtyard was filled with dark sillouettes, fires burnining in rusty oil drums and the melancholic twang of the singer's voice. Wow. Berlin's thriving underground music scene at its best. The music was fantastic-- a kalediscope of beats and strange noises and improvised lyrics-- yet as tight as you can get. I stood alone in the sea of undulating folk. The music jarring emotion of the music resonated deeply with me. Dreadlocks bounced, funky 70's hippsters grooved and groups of friends and couples conversed and danced.
My only companion was my bike that I cautiously kept within sight. I felt as an island in an ocean.
I think it has something to do with being in Berlin-- its a big city: I ain't in the country side no more.
The sheer quantity of people swirling about makes one more conscious of one's aloneness. It doesn't help that where I am working in Kreuzburg, there are so many funky cool people. Its not that I don't have friends here. I seem to have an abundance for the short time that I have been here. Yet, I long to meet all these cool and beautiful and funky people that dance about me on their way down the street. Surely they must all be doing and thinking the most interesting things.
I miss my friends too.
Berlin is also such a cool city. l wish I could share it all with a good friend or two. If only I could teleport my friends here. There are so many cafes and galleries and restaurants and concerts to check out. Its all but summer now too and the weather is glorious.
I wish I could express and share the wonderfullnes! I think this is actually a big thing. I have so much joy and love welling up in my soul these days. I long to share it.
And so.... I feel a little lonely.
Time to do some art.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
If you happen to be a gallery owner considering my work, please disregard this movie!